Say you're a contestant on American Idol, and you're standing backstage a few hours before show time when the producers walk up to you and say, "Congratulations, Fred, you're singing first tonight!" Assuming your name is really Fred, your response should be to (choose one):

1. Thank them profusely for the coveted honor of leading off the show.
2. Throw up on their shoes.
3. Hide in the wardrobe room and don't come out until the second commercial break.

Well, we can rule out A. As we and our friends at USA Today noted, the leadoff spot hasn't been terribly friendly to contestants over the years. Just 15 (of 282) first singers have have turned in a five-star performance, while 87 have been sent home (including 54 of 190 finalists, the highest ratio of any slot by far.) Through AI6, four of the six leadoff singers in a Final 3 episode have been voted off, and five of six in the Finales (where so far only Ruben Studdard has sung first and lived to tell about it.)

The challenges of performing first are obvious. Many late-arriving viewers miss the performance entirely, and those who do see it have upwards of an hour to forget about it before the voting begins. Plus, singing in front of a "cold" audience is rarely a treat; that's why opening acts were invented. Certainly the producers are aware of this too, so if they were ever intent on getting rid of a contestant – and we are not saying we suspect them of anything (cough-cough) – the leadoff spot is the obvious place to put him or her.

So if you ever find yourself opening the show on Idol, do whatever it takes to make it as memorable of a performance as you can. And don't forget to apologize to the producers afterwards for their shoes.